17 Okt 2014

halo(lagi).

halo kamu.
ya, kamu. :)
hai.
semoga kamu belum melupakanku hanya karena kita tak pernah lagi dapat bertegur sapa.
bagaimana keadaanmu sekarang?
apakah kamu baik-baik saja?
bagaimana sekolahmu?
apakah nilai mu naik? atau menurun?
apakah kamu mengerjakan tugas-tugasmu dengan baik?
apa kamu masih sering bolos?
kuharap tidak.
kuharap kamu dapat lulus dengan baik tahun ini.
kamu berbakat, dan bakatmu banyak!
kembangkan dengan maksimal!
karena diam-diam, aku masih mendukungmu dari sini.
oh ya,
apakah kamu masih langganan di kedai bakmi satu itu?
hahaha.
sampai sekarang aku masih penasaran ingin mencobanya.
apa kabar mama dan papamu?
titip salam ya, untuk mereka.
ingat, jangan terlalu sibuk.
kamu anak tunggal, orang tuamu pasti selalu rindu untuk menghabiskan waktu bersamamu.
jangan sering-sering bertengkar dengan mamamu.
jika kamu kesal, peluk dan cium dia.
mungkin dia begitu karena merindukanmu juga, sepertiku.
makanya dia mencari perhatianmu.
ingat, jangan main terus!
sudah kubilang, itu buruk untuk kesehatan.
apalagi kamu, setiap bermain selalu jajan sembarangan.
kurangi jajan di luar, penyedapnya akan menyerang otakmu dan lambat laun akan membuatnya bekerja lamban.
minyaknya akan menambah kolesterol dan dapat menyebabkan kanker.
dan juga kurangi konsumsi kopi.
itu kopi, bukan obat.
kenapa tetap kamu minum 3 kali sehari bahkan lebih?
ah kamu,
dari dulu memang tak pernah berubah.
tak bisa berhenti jajan.
hahaha.
tapi soal mainanmu  yang baru, aku suka.
lagumu bagus-bagus.
kan sudah kubilang, bakatmu banyak!
oh ya,
jangan lupa.
pendaftaran untuk kuliah sudah dibuka dimana-mana.
kamu harus segera daftar,
karena semakin cepat semakin baik.
semakin murah.
dan semakin banyak kesempatan untuk mengincar jurusan yang kamu inginkan.
aku tahu kamu lelah,
tahun terakhir SMA memang memuakkan.
tugas dan ulangan yang menumpuk dan sebagainya.
tapi aku tahu kamu kuat.
kamu bisa.
tetap semangat ya. :)
karena diam-diam, aku masih mendoakanmu setiap hari.
karena diam-diam, aku masih mendukung dan memikirkanmu.
setiap hari.
kehilanganmu,
sama dengan kehilangan seorang kakak,
adik,
teman,
sahabat,
mentor,
pasangan,
sekaligus.
tapi seperti yang sudah kukatakan,
sesuatu yang dipaksakan, hasilnya tetap takkan baik.
oh ya,
terimakasih untuk video nya :)
aku tak menyangka begitu banyak file tentangku yang kamu simpan,
sehingga cukup untuk membuat sebuah video berdurasi 4 menit 1 detik.
tapi apa arti dari video itu?
untuk apa kamu membuat video itu lalu memberikannya padaku?
apa maksudnya?
ah,
kamu dari dulu memang tak mudah ditebak.
ya sudahlah.
jaga dirimu baik-baik ya.
aku menyayangimu. :)

-S.

13 Agu 2014

i don't know
this is just so hard
too hard
too painful
i thought i can handle it at first but why in the end i end up the same?
dammit why so many people leaving
i just don't understand
why every single hello, should ends up by every single fucking goodbye?
i just really sad can't help myself tonight
:'(

10 Agu 2014

{no title}

the pain of detachment.
bearable.
but still, really painful.
you can't forget the people who meant so much to you that fast, can you?
yea, when that guy moved,
from my side,
to a tiny little special place,
in my heart.
like everyone who's gone does.
i love you.
i still love you.
dammit.

9 Agu 2014

We're Done.

I've never been expecting this.
I've never even once have thought that I have to write a post titled like that.
But I have to, because that's the truth. We're over. We're done.
I know that I've promised to stay, but ...


I'm sorry I can't do it anymore.

I'm sorry that I'm not strong enough to face a condition where there's only you and that girl on one game room playing together for quite some time and I can't even came in because you two were talking about something so private about the girl and you didn't wanna make that girl feel uncomfortable because there's somebody else right there that gotta listening to what she had to say. I understood, but it was not okay. It somehow hurts.

I'm sorry that I guess I loved you too much that I couldn't stand the pictures of the girls other than me that you displayed on your chat account. It hurts.

I'm sorry that I'm not strong enough to stay being okay and chill when you told me to go online because you've something to share with me while I was practicing for my school's charity night event, and when I got home at 10 p.m, exhausted and all, I went straight online without even showered first because you were my priority, and all you did was playing the game with me for several times and told me nothing. You even played it with your friends more than you played it with me. I remembered I tried so hard to understand you that time. And I did, but yeah once again .. it was not okay. It hurts.

I'm sorry that I'm not strong enough to understand that you're going to a school that has no "Thank God It's Friday" so you cannot visit me as often, and for me, communications are not valid if it's not in real life. I'm sorry that phone calls, video calls, Skype, chat, and anything online was not enough for me. I'm sorry for putting my expectations way too high on you, and that the expectations became pressure at the end. Long Distance Relationship is hard, we both have learned. Only strong people survived through that. Maybe you are, but ...


I'm sorry, I'm just a girl.


But despite all that stuffs, I want to thank you, for staying with me through the ups and downs of our relationships for those 4 years. Thank you for the memories! It was wonderful with all of the imperfections. Now, we have our own paths. Let's do our best on them.

See you on top! :)

21 Jul 2014

{no title}

ketika bekas luka yang setengah menutup
tak jadi sembuh
melainkan kembali terbuka
lebih besar
lebih perih
lebih berat
membuat guratannya makin jelas
luka
sakit
perih
karena cinta yang telah usang tak dapat dipakai lagi
hanya dapat menjerit tanpa di dengar
bukan karena tak ingin, tapi tak bisa
dan perihnya bukan keluar
tapi merasuk kedalam
merobek semuanya
sakit .

3 Jan 2014

(early) Happy Birthday

this post is special for my polar bear,  .

HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY BABY BEAR !

wishes nya bisa dibaca di WhatsApp yaa hehehe.
*karena terlalu panjang jadi agak cape juga ya kalo diketik ulang disini semua*

so actually i should post this post tomorrow, but because i wanna wish you a happy birthday at 00:00 i posted it!

sorry :x

and finally you will see this birthday present i made you.
i hope you like it!


once again, Happy Birthday :)

2014 !!!

BOO !

i'm so sorry i didn't post anything lately and leave you guys,
but first of all i wanna say :

MERRY CHRISTMAS 2013

and

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2014 !!!

sooo, things were going well,
i was on my annual trip to my grandma's house and have been a super fatty pig because i ate everything interesting there like Janganan (some kind of Pecel), and Garang Asem (or Sayur Asem), and Lekker ( kind of traditional Crepes), and many more.
yup. i thought someday i'll be like those EPIC MEAL TIME guys.
what the heck is that? just click here .

anddd yes i thought that's all, i'm just hoping that my scores *yes, i haven't got that freaking report card yet* are good. or maybe more than that? haha x_x

okay see y'all soon! *piratekiss*